


Midas Touch

by shootingstarcipher



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Dark Thoughts, M/M, Masturbation, Self-Harm, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:01:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9096385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shootingstarcipher/pseuds/shootingstarcipher
Summary: Following what he believed to be a tragic accident resulting in his sister’s death, Dipper unintentionally made his greatest discovery since making his entrance into the strange town in which a great uncle neither he nor his sister knew very much about resided. It wasn’t long before what he once thought of as an unexpected, remarkable and much appreciated gift began to feel more like a curse and his suspicions were only enhanced by the sudden re-appearance of the demon he’d never wanted to set eyes on again after the first (and last) time they’d met.





	

There were many things that Dipper Pines wanted to forget, but none more than the day his twin sister died. In fact, most of the memories he wished he could banish from his mind for all of eternity and have them leave no trace behind took place after that day - that sunny summer afternoon in Gravity Falls when trickles of sunlight had lingered elegantly in the air but there had still been something off about the almost eerie serenity of it all. Before then, he would have considered it an impossibility to set eyes on a beauty comparable to that of that quaint little town on that innocent afternoon. The emerald grass had glowed with purity and the rush of the waterfall had brought to mind thoughts of the most natural splendour, its clear waves glimmering in the light as the sun beat down on it from above.

Mabel, he remembered, had glimmered too that day - with naivety.

He only wished now that he’d paid more attention to her. He remembered spending most of that afternoon lying on the grass with a book blocking the sunlight out of his face - and blocking his sister from his mind. She had repeatedly tried to get his attention and each time he done his best to ignore her, his intention being to get some peace and quiet while he could. It was a rare moment when he had had the chance to relax without being hounded by an enraged or devious monster or pursued by some magical creature or another and the last thing he’d wanted was for Mabel to ruin that for him. So he’d ignored her. For the entire afternoon, he’d ignored her.

And that had been the biggest mistake of his entire life. Possibly.

No. That had been one of the biggest mistakes of his entire life. Since then he’d made many more mistakes just as damaging as ignoring his sister had been and he would no doubt go on to make at least one more. But that one stuck in his mind like a blade digging under his skin; it made his heart bleed just as much. Kindness, innocence, wholesomeness… Everything Mabel was known for had been drained from her that day and he had no-one to blame but himself. Well, himself and Bill Cipher.

He should have been more careful. He should have seen the signs before it became too late. If Bill had already returned to continue waging his war against Dipper’s family after seemingly vanishing forever, then why would he have thought that he’d give up without coming back for another fight?

Back then, as he lay on the grassy riverbank with his eyes glued to a book and his mind and concentration far from where they needed to be, his body had felt as if it had been set on fire. And that had been because of Bill. Because he had only gotten his body back from the demon the night before and it was still so, so painful just to exist within it. He had watched the abuse of his own body go on in near silence, no-one but the perpetrator able to hear his cries for help. All he’d wanted that afternoon was to just relax and forget about the pain - the burning on his skin, the cuts and bruises and open wounds that had leaked blood everywhere in the first instance when he’d gotten his body back. It still hurt that Mabel hadn’t seemed to care but he chose not to dwell on that too much. He had failed her and that was what mattered.

But she still didn’t know. No matter how many times he told her, she still just didn’t understand. Every single time he apologised, her reply was always “What for?” Every time she found him with blood dripping from his hands, ripping at his own skin and sobbing his heart out, she always had to ask why he did what he did. And yet whenever he found her with blood on her hands she could never explain why.

He could never explain why either. He knew, of course, that he hated himself for letting her death happen, for rejecting her when she needed him most and for letting that goddamned demon weave his way back into their lives again, just days after the last time. He knew. But how could he make her understand? How could she ever understand that she only died because he had let her?

Everything had been so painful back then - painful but bearable. But it had been bearable because Mabel had been there with him, looking after him when he needed her to. Ever since that day it had gotten so much worse. Now it was his turn to look after her, like he should have been doing in the first place. But it was so, so difficult - more difficult than he ever could have imagined. She needed him now even more than she had done when he’d let her down initially. He just didn’t think there was any way he could redeem himself - not now it was already too late.

Now he was not only in so much physical pain he could hardly tolerate it, but so much emotional turmoil that he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep clinging onto the pathetic excuse for a life he had. That’s what Bill kept calling him: pathetic. He used to call him intelligent, a prodigy just like the only other human he had ever had a connection with (something which Dipper had always considered incredible even if that connection was fake). He used to say that he was impressed with the way he always managed to get in his way even if it made his anger and rage flare. Now all he called him was pathetic and a disappointment.

It was weeks since his sister had perished on that beautiful sunlit afternoon - weeks since the guilt and horror had set in - and with every moment that passed the dark storm of hatred and resentment inside him grew stronger, consuming him. And nobody saw it. Nobody saw the blood staining his fingers or the scratch marks that stayed hidden on the inside of his thighs or the tears that clung to his eyelashes long after he’d stopped crying into his pillow. Nobody but Bill Cipher. He knew it all and he relished in every second of it he witnessed. Occasionally, she saw. But only long enough for her to mutter her well-practised question and then she’d forget soon after. Memories were lost on a monster like her.

If only he’d looked up when she’d called to him, insisting for the nth time that he stopped reading to pay attention to her, instead of giving an ambiguous grunt - half in pain, half in frustration with his sister - with his gaze still rooted to the pages of his book. If only he’d grabbed at her wrist just a moment sooner… Then all of this could have been avoided. Or if he’d talked some sense into her before they’d set off from the Mystery Shack or on the way to riverbank, she wouldn’t have jumped in. As beautiful as the water had been, it was still deadly - more lethal than either of them had realised at the time.

Dipper had heard her helpless, piercing cries over the rush of the waterfall and immediately recognised them as genuine shouts for help. So he had leapt to his feet, carelessly tossing his book aside in the process, and rushed over to the riverbank where he saw her thrashing around in the water, struggling to stay afloat. Being deeper than either of them had known, the water had suddenly gone from being impossibly tranquil to incredibly dangerous. Mabel had overestimated her capabilities as a swimmer and that simple mistake had dire consequences.

He’d gotten there too late. He’d heard her cries too late. He’d grabbed her by the wrist too late.

She was dead by the time he pulled her out of the water, the waves having already wrapped themselves around her in a tight, unbreakable stranglehold. And even though it would have been intolerably painful, it would have been so much better if she had stayed like that - lifeless, with the water rushing down her throat and depriving her of any chance of revival. She would have been better off staying dead.

But instead, Dipper had just had to bring her back.

As he pulled her up onto the side of the bank and splayed her drenched, freezing body out on the grass, her heart was no longer beating. But then he made the mistake of reaching out and touching her - placing his fingers against the side of her neck as he felt for a pulse. There was none; he was sure of that. Until… until her heart suddenly sprang to life again.

He’d thought he’d simply made a mistake. That was only logical explanation and even after everything that had happened in the last couple of months, logic was all he really knew. There was a part of his mind that wandered, suggesting that perhaps he hadn’t really just made a mistake, that perhaps there was something more to it. Maybe she had died, just for a minute, and somehow… No. He couldn’t allow himself to ponder it any longer and reason brought him back to solid ground within a moment or so, pushing his momentary musings to the darkest recesses of his mind.

That afternoon, he had brought her back to the Mystery Shack without another second’s hesitation. The sun had still shone down on them as if nothing had happened, a sinister tranquillity lingering in the air as they strayed from the scene of Mabel’s death.

But it felt like nothing was really wrong. He had been scared, naturally - terrified - but everything had gone back to normal, hadn’t it? Once Mabel emerged seemingly unscathed, he’d thought everything was alright again. But he should have known, and he did realise later that night as he slept, that there was no such thing as normal in Gravity Falls.


End file.
